We are on Day Twenty of our Love Series. It has been a beautiful experience so far and I want to thank you for being a part of it. Today, I would be taking another set of questions.
I’ve encountered a lot of heartbreaks. Now, it’s hard for me to love. My parents told me to bring home a husband to marry. How can I take someone I don’t love home? It’s so hard for me because anytime I want to engage in any relationship, the past always ring a bell. Please what can I do?
Thank you for this question. I totally feel your pain. The past is just one part of our lives that never ceases to go; it just keeps checking up on us without invitation. I am very sorry for the heartbreaks you’ve had. I wish you never went through them but you did. So what do we do next?
I would advise that you start your healing process in earnest. The first thing I would recommend you do about your “wounded heart” is that you hand it over to God. He has an amazing way of healing hearts. Try doing that. Just ask Him to heal your hurts.
And while at it, please rise above the pressure your family is putting on you. Because of the things you’ve experienced, I would advocate you spend at least three (3) months from now building up your emotions, stabilising them. Read books, attend seminars, learn skills, go out with friends. Just get your life into an healthy balance, preparing yourself to venture into love again. Free yourself and have some fun while learning new things. Talking personally to a counsellor also helps a lot.
With God’s help, and your emotional strength regained, I’m sure you’d be ready to give love another chance and very soon, the wedding bell would ring. I hope to get an invite.
Hello to everyone and especially to you, Doc. Is it compulsory for a lady to marry an educated person?
Hmmm…this question seems like a set up ☺. Is it compulsory? NO!!! Is it necessary? YES!!! Please reach me for a personal session on this as different answers apply to different cases. Asking you some questions might help me answer you better.
But generally, even if the person is not educated, the person needs to both desire and have plans to get educated, if you are to consider spending the rest of your life with the person. Education is not just for the certificate, education sharpens our minds and exposes us to a world of possibilities. I hope I answered you.
Please sir, I caught my girlfriend whom I intend getting married to cheating on me. I’m just confused if I should let her go or stay after her apology. But I still love her so much.
I talked about Love Is Forgiveness on Day 3 of this series. You said she has apologised. I believe you should forgive her. We all make mistakes. But please don’t just forgive, ask questions.
Find out what made her do it? When you understand her reasons, it would help you to know what you can do on your end, in love, to help her not do it again. Was she lonely? Was she ‘needy’? Just find out and deal with it from there.
Let me state clearly here that I believe sleeping with your boyfriend or girlfriend is wrong. Sex should be preserved for marriage. So, if the reason she gives makes it sound like if you don’t give it to her, she’d have to get it elsewhere (or vice-versa for ladies with their boyfriends), then I strongly recommend you quit that relationship.
Why? The person that cheats on you because he/she wants sex at the wrong time (before marriage), will cheat on you in marriage if you travel or are medically indisposed. But the one that can wait for you would most likely stay faithful to you after.
Thank you for reading again. I hope these answers are making a difference in your love lives. Tomorrow is another day to take your questions. Until then, please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING!
I love you!