Welcome to Day Two of our all-important series. I am finding it very interesting, won’t use the word ‘difficult’, knowing which aspect of love to talk about before the other. So, I would just simply flow and mention them as they come. If you have any questions as regarding love generally or based on what I would be sharing in this series, please post your questions as comments on The Love Series posts on my blog. I would be entertaining and answering questions from Day 16!
Now, to today’s business!
I once heard a dear friend of mine, Dr. Ayoade Adeoye, make a profound statement. She said and I quote, “We judge people by their ACTIONS but we judge ourselves by our INTENTIONS.” Hmmm! Maybe you should read that line over and again until you squeeze out ALL the juices in it.
A loved one doesn’t call you on your birthday, and because of that, you pick a fight, saying, “Of all people, how could you forget my birthday!”, not caring at all to know if the person has any tenable excuse. Whereas, if the ball was in your court and you forgot a loved one’s birthday, you would say to yourself, “Only if she knew she was on my mind all day…I was just so busy…I slept off…I was totally broke and couldn’t call…etc”
Do you understand please? Love GIVES EXCUSES for people! Love OVERLOOKS wrongs. Why? Because Love KNOWS that EVERY HUMAN BEING is a bundle of IMPERFECTIONS! You will not find a PERFECT man, woman, boy, girl, child, parent, husband, wife, employer, employee or colleague, on this side of eternity. NEVER.
“Timi, you’re wrong! I have seen perfect people!”
If that’s what you’re saying, I beg to differ. They LOOK and ACT and TALK and SOUND perfect is different from they ARE perfect. Ask the people that sleep on the same bed or live in the same house with them. Best bet would be to even ask them personally. If they are honest, they will tell you how broken and weak they are at some points in their lives.
So, if you wanna enjoy love, you need to know that the person you are choosing to intentionally and deliberately love (as I mentioned yesterday) is a flawed human. Don’t expect never to be hurt. Haven’t you hurt many people yourself?
So, when you look at that loved one, or intended loved one today, let a softness develop in your heart for that person. Remind yourself that she’s beautiful but not perfect. Tell yourself he’s georgious but not perfect. Remind yourself your child is cute but not perfect. Replay in your mind that your dad is strong but not perfect.
With this understanding, you won’t put an unnecessary, unachievable burden on that individual to match up to a standard no human being can meet.
NB: That said, please don’t take your husband or boyfriend’s beating up you as imperfection, don’t take your child talking back at you and spitting in your face as imperfection, and similar cases. Those ones are HUGE CHARACTER FLAWS that need to be dealt with. And that’s not the topic for today, nor for this series. You could reach me for personal counselling sessions on that.
Okay! It’s time to go into your world today and love the imperfect people around you. Thank you for taking the time to read the words of imperfect me. I believe in you and I see beauty, grace and strength in your imperfections. Let NO ONE despise you. NO ONE!
Until we “see” again tomorrow. Keep living. Keep loving!
I love you!
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)