Welcome to Day Two of our all-important series. I am finding it very interesting, won’t use the word ‘difficult’, knowing which aspect of love to talk about before the other. So, I would just simply flow and mention them as they come. If you have any questions as regarding love generally or based on what I would be sharing in this series, please post your questions as comments on The Love Series posts on my blog. I would be entertaining and answering questions from Day 16!
Now, to today’s business!
I once heard a dear friend of mine, Dr. Ayoade Adeoye, make a profound statement. She said and I quote, “We judge people by their ACTIONS but we judge ourselves by our INTENTIONS.” Hmmm! Maybe you should read that line over and again until you squeeze out ALL the juices in it.
A loved one doesn’t call you on your birthday, and because of that, you pick a fight, saying, “Of all people, how could you forget my birthday!”, not caring at all to know if the person has any tenable excuse. Whereas, if the ball was in your court and you forgot a loved one’s birthday, you would say to yourself, “Only if she knew she was on my mind all day…I was just so busy…I slept off…I was totally broke and couldn’t call…etc”
Do you understand please? Love GIVES EXCUSES for people! Love OVERLOOKS wrongs. Why? Because Love KNOWS that EVERY HUMAN BEING is a bundle of IMPERFECTIONS! You will not find a PERFECT man, woman, boy, girl, child, parent, husband, wife, employer, employee or colleague, on this side of eternity. NEVER.
“Timi, you’re wrong! I have seen perfect people!”
If that’s what you’re saying, I beg to differ. They LOOK and ACT and TALK and SOUND perfect is different from they ARE perfect. Ask the people that sleep on the same bed or live in the same house with them. Best bet would be to even ask them personally. If they are honest, they will tell you how broken and weak they are at some points in their lives.
So, if you wanna enjoy love, you need to know that the person you are choosing to intentionally and deliberately love (as I mentioned yesterday) is a flawed human. Don’t expect never to be hurt. Haven’t you hurt many people yourself?
So, when you look at that loved one, or intended loved one today, let a softness develop in your heart for that person. Remind yourself that she’s beautiful but not perfect. Tell yourself he’s georgious but not perfect. Remind yourself your child is cute but not perfect. Replay in your mind that your dad is strong but not perfect.
With this understanding, you won’t put an unnecessary, unachievable burden on that individual to match up to a standard no human being can meet.
NB: That said, please don’t take your husband or boyfriend’s beating up you as imperfection, don’t take your child talking back at you and spitting in your face as imperfection, and similar cases. Those ones are HUGE CHARACTER FLAWS that need to be dealt with. And that’s not the topic for today, nor for this series. You could reach me for personal counselling sessions on that.
Okay! It’s time to go into your world today and love the imperfect people around you. Thank you for taking the time to read the words of imperfect me. I believe in you and I see beauty, grace and strength in your imperfections. Let NO ONE despise you. NO ONE!
Until we “see” again tomorrow. Keep living. Keep loving!
I love you!
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)
Wonderfully said sir, its just that sometimes the ones we tend to love and care for makes it hard and difficult to do so at times. but will keep practicing, like you said
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Thanks for your comment MJ. It’s hard but possible.
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well pointed out sir
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Thanks sir
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This just happened to me last week. ..Thank you sir for this write up. It made me realise some things that I never thought of. And i am sorry for last week.
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No p dear. Thanks for commenting Tolu. I’m proud of you!
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Making EXCUSES for people really does work for me…thank you for this piece Sir!
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Thank you too friend
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Wow, this is deep. This is more than a podcast, it’s a book that the whole world will read, a message to be preached for all men to hear. Thank you for these teachings Sir.
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Thanks a lot namesake. Thank you!!!
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Wow.. I love this.. More wisdom to write ijn.
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Amen. Thanks sir
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This just touched me..more blessings sir!
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Amen. Thanks a lot Lola
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*smiles* The habit of making excuses for others has worked for me many times .it’s really an amazing therapy if you try it out with all your heart, and at times I get surprised at myself. I’m still learning though. Thanks uncle Tim
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Thanks my dear. I’m glad dear
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God bless you uncle Timi. I have also tried that excuse therapy, and it has been of great help. more grace sir…
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Wow…Good to know. Thank you too
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Hmmmm.this got me thinking.I blame people for what I would,in some cases do too. Doctor Ayoade’s quote really has truth in between the lines.
Day 2. Love tip on point.Thank You,Uncle Timi.
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Thanks a lot dear. Very on point
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“Let a softness develop in your heart for that person.” I speak softness into my heart when I confess “I love everyone like Christ does” and it’s been working. I love you too, sir!
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Hmmm…I love u Jane…and I’m proud of you.
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Therapy it is, saves the heart a lot of stress.
You’re blessed sir.
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Amen. Thanks a lot for commenting Deborah
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Reblogged this on OLUWATOBI and commented:
You should read up the whole series! It will change your life! Literaily!
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The perfect piece at the right time. God bless you sir!
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Thank you too Helen.
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Kudos Sir!
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Thanks sir
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when we put people in our shoes,it is then we will know how to express our true feelings for one another. love imperfect people starts with individual and the time will realize this will help us not to put too much expectations on people around and it will enable us to care more and live a happy life without unwanted burdens in our hearts. let love sees a room to improve not to condenm others. cheers,,,,,,,,,
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Thanks a lot for sharing Ayo
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