I’ve never actually cut it for anyone, you know, been enough.
Gotten heads turned, made a dramatic entrance at an event.
Never dreamt that the world would know my name
Or even the guy across the street.
Never had any one call me pretty with every true bone in their body
Or deliver flowers to me at work.
Maybe I’ll always be second place all my life.
Maybe I’ll never quite fit into that dress because the tummy tucking doesn’t work anymore
Maybe no one will ever lose their breath over seeing me
Or buy me perfume and give me his big shirts
Maybe I’ll always wonder what went wrong and why I just couldn’t be enough for anyone.
Why I couldn’t motivate a romantic poem .
But all this never bothered me before
I found a way to live around it.
Until now, that is.
So I have one question;
What is it about you that changed all that?
Why do I suddenly care that am not enough? Huh?
Why do I want to cut it for you?
Why do I tear up when you tell me someone else is pretty?
Why do I want to hold on to you and never let go
Why do I wish you’d fall in love with me?
Why can’t I sleep if I haven’t said goodnight to you?
Why do I feel like I’m falling for you?
Can you answer that?
Why is it that you make me want to do all those things I never thought I would want to do?
Why do I feel like am losing my mind?
Why do I want to lose weight for you?
Why do I suddenly have high hopes and expectations of life?
What have you done to me?
Oh gosh, this isn’t even half of what I feel.
I’m helpless with my insides screaming anytime we’re together but I do not dare utter a word.
That would be my undoing and you don’t even know because you haven’t noticed, nor will you ever.
But I had to write this because it’s the first time I’ve ever cared that I wasn’t enough…